* feb 3 - andy warhol/luna event
feb 7 - first day at piedmont
* feb 12-15 - vancouver
* feb 21 - show at yoshi's with brad
* feb 26 - from monument to masses at both
march 6-8 - arathi here
* march 18 - wicked
* mar 25-29 - ohio for jodi's shower
may 1ish - leave the bay area for travel in USA
june 27 - jodi and brock get married
july 12 - family reunion in new jersey
late july - leave for trip around world
nov 14 - andy and ali get married in florida
july '10 - return from world travel

* = i have a ticket (or reservation), sucka! otherwise gotta get one.

that'll do for now.

( past stuff i did )

edit: i spelled bonnaroo wrong the whole time because i am clearly not really a hippie!

here's something i'm figuring out - you can have a post-vacation low even when you are in the middle of another vacation. since i've returned from bonarroo i've been a bit low...a little more anxiety and weird dreams and just sort of sad and lonely. it reminds me a lot of the feeling i used to get when i came home from camp in the summer in high school (and earlier). like i've been yanked out of one life and thrust into another more "real" but far lonelier life. i think, actually, it would have been smoother for me (although far more painful on tuesday morning) if i'd been not in the middle of travel, because going back to work and hanging out with friends are the kinds of things that counter these feelings. sitting around my parents house with no plans is not the kind of thing that counters these feelings. because it's not dissimilar from how i normally feel post-vacation. except that post-vacation means i'm done with vacation and in this instance i am not. and i just feel like i miss everyone so much. and it went from missing the people i was at bonarroo with (other than my love, of course, who just stepped out of the shower in this very same room) to missing everyone i'm not currently with. which, having left my life to travel for 14 months, is pretty much everyone except for my parents (it's a nice change to NOT miss them for once, i must say).

oh yeah, i also imbibed in some substances that probably threw my brain chemistry off whack slightly for a minute, also.

so, yeah, bonarroo was a blast. was with my sister, soon to be bro-in-law, my brother, one of my oldest bestest friends, her boyfriend (who i adore) and a lot of randoms who by the end of the week felt like best buddies. no fights, no problems, just lots of music, laughing, poo-talk, and general merriment. as ian says, the best way to really get to know people is to camp with them.

this was our set up:

(but with more people around - photo was taken after the rv next to us had departed.)

all my pictures are on facebook and will be on flickr soon, and when i have a minute i plan to make a bonarroo fashion post here.

for now, though, full force ahead in wedding planning for my sister's wedding which is a week from today. i am the best woman (having rejecting a title with the word matron in it). i am mostly helping out with last minute details, but i need to make some time to take care of my own tasks - writing a speech and getting together things i want to make sure we have that day in case of wardrobe malfunction or low blood sugar.

then i think we've decided to spend the 4th with some friends here in ohio (in dayton) and then hit pittsburgh for the 5th and 6th and onward to nj for some beach and sun. we have a weekend in nyc then fly out to geneva on july 20th.

new yorkers - what's a good bar (it's been awhile since i've lived there) to tell people to all meet up with us on a saturday night if they want to see us??? brooklyn or les or east village i'd say. unless nyc has really changed since i moved.

athens with sarah till tomorrow
somewhere in the vicinity of asheville, nc tomorrow night
cary, nc with jake and chelsea tuesday and wednesday nights
(thursday we have to get our last dose of rabies and hep a/b at 2pm in cary)
thursday night - pigeon forge DOLLYWOOD
friday night - nashville
saturday and sunday nights - memphis
next monday and tuesday - kentucky with my sister
next wednesday - columbus with my brother
next thursday - mansfield with my parents

turns out i don't have any secrets. hmm.

i'll say this though:

it'll be nice when enough has passed that i don't automatically think, "oh yeah, i remember this thing last time with you" and then feel immediately like someone kicked me in the nutsac. i know that time'll come. i hope a year'll help cause then it's not like all the events that repeat will have the "one year ago" memory associated with them anymore.

i made a new monk's kettle memory that didn't involve me so broken and crushed and crying that i couldn't touch a bite of their delicious delicious food and then didn't want to go back because of the association. then i went back to hmmmmm goodness and friends.

time heals, yo. especially if you work at it.

in the meantime, i wish time would heal my state of inebriation cause i thought i was fine until i saw it's 5am and i'm still awake and i tripped like 10 times on the way to the bathroom. curse you sarah and athens and your sweet tempting spirits! all day drinking tomorrow too. the south hates my liver.

but bless you michael stipe for letting me lay eyes upon you in that bar (and thank you sarah for knowing which bar which night). michael stipe. you may be a lot of things now that don't do much for me, but your band saved my young musical heart. 1988. thanks to adam schonberg and his mix-taping skills - a whole world opened up to my little head and heart and i don't know when or what would have done it eventually otherwise.

gonna shut the eyes and hope the brain joins.

oh um...sweet tea vodka is basically god's semen, it's so fucking good. just thought you should know.

so, i'm in jackson mississippi now. we had a lazy lazy night. walked to dinner nearby, but otherwise just hung out in the motel room (which is a luxury for us at this stage in the game). did some interneting, watched some king of the hill etc. this morning we've also been taking it slow - about to shower then head out of here. our order of the day is:
coffee
visitor center for the driving tour map
driving tour
drive to alabama

i've been using this book:


it's been really helpful in terms of making sure i see the things i really want to see, and also for providing a bit of background history.

last night i watched the glee pilot on hulu and loved it. how could i not when it pretty much ended with a brilliant rendition of don't stop believin'??? a made-for-sharon show as far as i can tell. teenagers, humor, hottness, singing and dancing, misfits etc.

i am behind on gossip girl - need to catch up on that shiznit once i get to ohio. chuck and blaire ftw.

i've read a few other books - when we were camping i read like crazy - went to bed and woke up with the sun. since we've been at people's houses i've read less and slowed way down. let's see if i can remember everything. links to the edition i read cause i'm a dork like that.
hunger point
my sister's keeper
valley of the dolls
the bluest eye
amy and isabelle
working on confessions of an ugly stepsister now

what is your favorite war song?

have been thinking a lot about friendship - in particular the few i've lost in my life dramatically. really only two - and both so different. i might expand upon these thoughts in a later more private entry when i have more time. i can't stop dreaming about this stuff, though. "i'm not ashamed to say i cried for you."

ok, gotta get dressed and get outta here.

busterbenson made a post about how quiet it is around here (lj) and how great that is. i thought about it for about 1 seconds and realized he is totally right - BRING ON THE SECRETS! lj feels cozy like it used to. like it could be a place i would bare my soul and wouldn't feel like i was standing naked in the middle of a high school classroom. or whatever. i can play on facebook and twitter with every human i've ever known, but let this be closer to what it used to be for me (and a lot of us).

anyhow, i'm in new orleans right now, staying with friends, and we head to jackson mississippi soon, after a brief drive through the ninth ward and stop at a plantation that is the oldest recorded home in the mississippi delta.

i'll save my secrets for tonight or tomorrow, but i'd love to try to get back to telling them here. emotions, dreams, hurt. it's all for you! lucky ducks.

xxoo.

--dearanxiety

mine are all going here.

.

ian's will eventually all be here.

--dearanxiety

--dearanxiety

I love it already.
--dearanxiety

--dearanxiety

we found this in the bookdrop this morning. love it. maureen was dying.

been to egypt? where/why/when/how? did you go on an organized trip to see things like pyramids?

if you want postcards while we travel, give me your address! i'm gonna put it in my little address book that is coming along. even if you think i already have it, giving it to me now will mean it makes it in my book. it's a cute book!



i'll screen comments so you can post here and no one will see but me.

if you were going to travel around the world for a year, cheaply for the most part (staying lots of the time on couches and in hostels), how much would you want to have saved?

if you know about memphis reply to this. trying to decide where to book a room/place to stay and don't know anything about the city. danke!

same with nashville, actually.

are you jealous?

--dearanxiety

i had a sexy dream about him last night:


so not my usual type, but i *did* watch several episodes of united states of tara before bed.